I was asked ” how dose one know they are really into a “kinkster” or alternative sexually fetist, or just experimenting with it being curious about it? and is the latter deemed bad as like being a phony? there (that’s a good question if i do say so myself. lol”
I think experimenting is the only way you can know if you are into it or not. I have known a lot of people in the scene. I see a big theme where a lot of people around the age of puberty show signs of being involved in kinky things and they just kind of known they were that way. However there are other type of people who come to terms with it later in life-usually through experimenting and figuring out they really enjoy. There are different levels of kink enthusiasts. There are the “weekenders” people who go to clubs on the weekends. “Life stylers” who do kink as often as they can. Then there are 24/7 die-hards who live and breathe it 24/7. I don’t think there are phonies, just different levels of being involved with kink. Someone is only a phony when they are pretending to enjoy it, or pretending to be apart of something that is not truly them. Some people enjoy light bondage but do not identify that as BDSM. While others who do enjoy light bondage might would identify with being part of BDSM.
So in summary, it come down to personal identification and if that label feels correct. Good question!